Rid yourself of familial obligations in Darkarta: A Broken Heart’s Quest

At first glance, “Darkarta: A Broken Heart’s Quest” plays like your run-of-the-mill HOG game: tracking and backtracking, finding pieces of strange objects, unusual amulets that unlock mysterious books. Further playing reveals that “Darkarta” is remarkably dull and I’ve channeled most of my opinions into snarky photo captions. Yet, there are two high points that make the game worth trying out.

There goes the husband. Hopefully a non-White magical person will come to his rescue and save him. I’ve got a drawer handle to find.

First, some of the puzzles are quite beautiful and entertaining. While I usually lose patience with “move the pieces until they’re in the right order” puzzles, a few of the incidental games are challenging enough to be enjoyable. While overall “Darkarta” is typical for the genre, there are incidental areas and objectives that feel carefully thought out and crafted.

I particularly liked the multi-layered elements of this puzzle.

Secondly, and in my opinion, most importantly, “Darkarta” features some of the absolute worst voice acting I’ve heard from HOG games. The male antagonist sounds like the manager your car salesman brought into the office to sweeten the deal and the female antagonist harpily harpies as if The Little Mermaid’s Ursula didn’t change everything when it came to the female villain.

No.

And don’t get me started on your playable character. She is supposed to be trying to find her kidnapped child after discarding her injured husband, yet the emotional acting comes out in spits and spurts, not unlike the diesel fuel you’re tasked to find. The games does come with a CROWBAR OF DESTINY, which is always a treat, but there is very little here to warrant playing beyond the demo, which I didn’t and you shouldn’t. There are better HOGs out there. I promise to let you know when I find one.

She literally says this while her child is being held hostage by an immortal being on a buffalo. A BUFFALO.